Restaurants across the country rebrand their menus, offering "Gulf of America-style Tacos" — only to have customers ask if they're now served with burgers and fries.
Mapmakers go into overdrive, creating "America-first maps" with a note: "Previously known as the Gulf of Mexico, but this is now huge, folks, just the best gulf!"
The Beach Boys quickly rewrite their classic Kokomo: "Key Largo, Montego, baby, why don't we go... down to the Gulf of America?"
Mexican diplomats jokingly rename the "United States of America" to "Estados Unidos de México," leading to the shortest and most awkward border summit in history.
Seafood restaurants start branding their dishes as "Freedom Shrimp," with slogans like "Shrimp so American, it practically salutes you before being grilled!"